Kicking and Screaming
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:21:02
??[Holla by Baha Men playing]
:21:03
Uh...
:21:04
? We got the rhythm,
we got the most fun ??

:21:07
Honey,
it was your first practice.

:21:08
It'll get better.
:21:10
No, it's gonna get worse.
:21:11
You need to give it
some time, Phil.

:21:13
No. I already know.
It was awful.

:21:14
The kids were
just running around.

:21:16
They weren't
listening to me.

:21:17
They were like
4-foot whirling dervishes.

:21:19
And I don't even know
what a whirling dervish is,

:21:21
but that's--that's what
they were like.

:21:24
You know why?
'Cause I'm not a coach.

:21:26
Okay? I don't know
what I'm doing.

:21:28
My dad. He's a coach.
He knows the game.

:21:32
He's confident, he's smart,
:21:34
witty, dynamic,
vicious, brutal, vindictive.

:21:38
A monster.
:21:39
And he will win
through intimidation

:21:41
and forceful tactics
if need be.

:21:43
I'm not like that.
:21:46
In fact, I don't know
anyone like that.

:21:49
Do you?
:21:54
So, Paul,
what's on your mind?

:21:56
Uh, actually, it's Phil.
:21:58
You mean, it's not Paul?
:21:59
No, it's Phil.
:22:00
What's the difference?
Come on. Spit it out.

:22:02
Uh, here it is.
:22:03
(Diana)
Mike!

:22:04
Hold this.
:22:05
[footsteps approaching]
:22:06
Oh, no. No, no,
we do not allow smoking
in the house.

:22:10
I-I'm sorry, Mrs. Ditka.
:22:13
Here, I'll
get rid of it, honey.

:22:17
Anyway, uh, l-I'm coaching
my son's soccer team.

:22:19
And--And l--I didn't know
if you might be
willing to help.

:22:22
Soccer?
:22:23
Actually, uh, l--I want you
to assistant coach.

:22:27
Your assistant coach?
:22:29
You really don't know
who I am, do you?

:22:31
You're right. Silly idea.
:22:33
I just-- I just
need some help

:22:34
and you're such
a great coach.

:22:35
My dad's gonna be
riding me all season,
so I just--

:22:37
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho,
your dad?

:22:40
You mean I get to coach
against your dad?

:22:42
Well, yeah.
:22:43
(Diana)
Mike, I smell smoke!

:22:44
Nobody's smokin'!
:22:46
Mike!
For Pete's sake!

:22:47
So, like, it's me and you
against your old man?

:22:49
I mean,
there are other teams.

:22:51
Gotcha!
:22:52
No smoking means
no smokin'!

:22:54
Okay, come on, Phil.
:22:55
I'll throw this out
the window, honey.

:22:57
Uh, l-I'm sorry, Mrs. D....
I'm sorry.

:22:59
You should be.

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