The 40 Year Old Virgin
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:03:01
You know how I know
you're gay?
How?

:03:03
You have a rainbow
bumper sticker on your car
that says:

:03:05
"I love it
when balls are in my face."

:03:08
That's gay?
:03:09
God damn it!
:03:11
I'm ripping your head off
right now. It's off.

:03:13
And now I'm throwing it
at your body.

:03:17
Fuck you!
:03:19
You guys...
:03:21
she's picking me up
in an hour.

:03:24
Oh, drag, dude.
:03:26
She's picking you up
from here?
Yeah.

:03:29
That's fucked up, man.
:03:30
Why?
Why?

:03:33
Seriously. I mean,
look at this place, man.

:03:37
You gotta see this through
the eyes of a woman,
you know?

:03:40
What is she going to think
when she comes in here? Look.

:03:42
He's got a billion toys.
So what?

:03:45
And more video games
than a teenaged Asian kid.

:03:48
It's all right.
:03:50
Is that the
Six Million Dollar Man's boss?

:03:53
It's Oscar Goldman.
:03:54
Why do you have that?
That's worth a lot of money.

:03:57
That's much more valuable
than Steve Austin.

:03:59
Well, that may be the case.
But none of this shit
is sexy, okay?

:04:03
I'm not
trying to be sexy, man.

:04:05
I mean, seriously, Asia?
:04:06
You framed an Asia poster?
:04:08
How hard did the people
at the frame store laugh...

:04:10
when you brought this in?
They did not laugh at me.

:04:12
Know why you're gay?
Because you like Asia.

:04:14
You guys cool it
with the gay.

:04:16
You know, she's on her way
over here, okay?

:04:18
First, you relax, okay?
:04:19
Just stop calming me down
and tell me what I should do.

:04:23
Okay, we just take everything
that's embarrassing...

:04:25
and we move it out of here.
:04:26
So it doesn't look like
you live in Neverland Ranch.

:04:36
Hi.
Hi. How are you?

:04:37
Good.
:04:38
So, you wanna head out?
:04:40
Did you just
move in or something?

:04:42
No. Actually I'm getting
new carpet in.

:04:44
I'm having carpet
put in tomorrow, so...

:04:48
Well, you know.
Yeah.

:04:50
Okay.
Looks good with the floors.

:04:51
Yeah.
All right.

:04:53
I should tear up
the hard wood...

:04:55
and see if there's
carpet underneath.

:04:57
That's never the case.

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