:08:00
...maybe we'd have dates
to the homecoming dance.
:08:03
Okay, so you changed your mind.
:08:05
You think it's fair football players
get academic credit...
:08:08
...for going to practice?
:08:10
You shouldn't have published
the picture with the article.
:08:13
They took the picture as a joke. You
published it out of context, without...
:08:17
Guys. I've got another ghost story.
:08:19
That wasn't a ghost story, Mindy.
It's an urban legend.
:08:22
An urban legend is a made-up story
people keep telling as if it was true.
:08:26
Like the guy who eats Pop Rocks...
:08:28
...drinks soda
and his stomach explodes.
:08:30
Like that bullshit about Mindy's
brother's camp counselor...
:08:33
...getting his arm stuck in a soda
machine, and it falls on top of him.
:08:37
That wasn't bullshit.
:08:39
And it was a candy machine.
:08:40
- Oh, and like Bloody Mary.
- Who's that?
:08:44
Supposedly, if you go into
the bathroom and turn off the lights...
:08:47
...and chant "Bloody Mary" three times
into the mirror, she appears.
:08:51
Her face is like a corpse.
And if you look at her, well...
:08:56
...then you have to turn the lights
back on before she drags you in.
:08:59
In where?
:09:01
I don't know. In the mirror?
:09:04
I heard she'll haunt you forever.
:09:07
That's not even a real urban legend.
That's just like that movie Candyman.
:09:11
- Well, my story was real.
- As real as your mother's new tits.
:09:22
What's the first thing you'll do
when you're mayor?
:09:24
- I haven't won yet.
- But you will.
:09:26
A lot can happen, so...
:09:29
But so far...
:09:32
- What's going on in there?
- I don't know.
:09:42
Well, the first thing I'm gonna do
is propose a 9 p.m. Curfew...
:09:46
...on all teenage girls.
:09:48
I'll keep them off the streets,
keep them safe.
:09:50
Keep them virgins.
:09:52
I'm afraid that might be too late.