Fun with Dick and Jane
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:14:00
We owe $ 77,000 on this house, Dick.
:14:02
If you died right now,
how would I pay it off?

:14:04
Out of the insurance.
:14:05
We don't have any.
You borrowed against it.

:14:07
Right, right, right. I forgot.
:14:10
This is ridiculous.
I'm not gonna die tonight.

:14:12
The night is young.
:14:14
It's comforting to know
when things get tough...

:14:16
...l'll have you standing behind me
with an ice pick.

:14:18
You've been leading a secret life
for these last years.

:14:21
For example, what are
"insecured municipal debentures"?

:14:25
I don't know. I gambled on a few things
for us, and I lost. I'm sorry.

:14:29
You gambled. You lost.
What about me?

:14:30
I gambled and lost, and I didn't
even get a chance to play.

:14:34
I didn't even watch.
:14:36
Your interest in economics
was limited to the spending part.

:14:39
I always thought of you as
a responsible aerospace executive.

:14:42
Who would have known you were
the Typhoid Mary of high finance.

:14:45
If I'd have consulted you,
I wouldn't have lost my job.

:14:48
If you think you can do better,
take over.

:14:50
It would be hard
to do it any worse.

:14:52
Go ahead, be my guest.
It's all yours.

:14:55
My very thought.
:14:57
And my first act as director
of family economics...

:15:00
...is to put you on an allowance.
- On a what?

:15:03
What kind of lunatic spends $ 1000 on
lunch when he's out of a job and in debt?

:15:07
The kind that knows you can't
get a job if you look like a loser.

:15:10
If I was Diners Club, I'd bronze your
stomach and put it in the hall of fame.

:15:13
Point number two.
:15:14
Your job is to get on the food stamp
program, look for work in your field...

:15:18
Excuse me, why don't I get a "job" job?
Like a busboy or a waiter?

:15:23
If we're not too proud
to go on welfare...

:15:25
- We can't afford it.
- Can't afford it?

:15:27
You earn more money on unemployment
than you could in any of those jobs.

:15:31
My job is to get a "job" job.
:15:34
- You're gonna get a job?
- Yes. Incredible as it may seem.

:15:38
May I ask... No offense, mind you.
What do you think you're qualified to do?

:15:42
Secretary of the treasury
seems to be filled.

:15:45
- There must be lots of things I can do.
- You never worked a day in your life.

:15:48
You can't type,
and you can't take shorthand.

:15:51
I'm a college graduate.
:15:53
Reasonably intelligent.
Not altogether unattractive.

:15:55
Yes, but will you be happy
being a hooker?


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