:15:00
I can't be alone.
:15:04
- Eve...
- I don't wanna discuss the details now.
:15:11
It's a very bad time for me.
:15:20
My impotence set in a year ago.
:15:26
My paralysis.
:15:30
I suddenly found
I couldn't write any more.
:15:32
Rather, I shouldn't say suddenly.
Actually, it started happening last winter.
:15:42
Increasing thoughts about death
just seemed to come over me.
:15:46
Um, these, uh...
:15:52
A preoccupation with my own mortality.
:15:57
These... feelings of futility
in relation to my work.
:16:01
I mean, just what am I
striving to create anyway?
:16:04
I mean, to what end?
For what purpose, what goal?
:16:10
I mean...
:16:13
Do I really care if a handful of my
poems are read after I'm gone?
:16:17
Is that supposed to be
some sort of compensation?
:16:22
I used to think it was,
:16:24
but...
:16:27
now, for some reason...
:16:32
I can't... I can't seem to...
:16:39
I can't seem to shake
the real implication of dying.
:16:46
It's terrifying.
:16:54
The intimacy of it embarrasses me.