:21:00
"No, fire shoot out my dick, is all.
:21:04
"A burst of flame fly out my dick
when I pee.
:21:07
"I can't even pee in the house, I burn
my house down. I gotta go outside.
:21:11
"I was outside peeing,
dude tried to mug me,
:21:13
"I turned around and burned him up
on the street.
:21:15
"Because my dick is a blowtorch,
is what I'm trying to say."
:21:18
Got to be careful.
They say having casual sex nowadays
:21:21
is like playing Russian roulette.
:21:23
And I know I've thrown my dick
on the crap table many a night.
:21:29
Looking for Miss Right,
you be gambling every time.
:21:31
You gambling with your dick, saying,
"Come on, need a woman with a mind.
:21:34
"Come on, now. I need somebody
perfect for me. Give it to me, now!
:21:37
"Oh, shit. Fat, bucktoothed bitch.
No, give me my dick back. No.
:21:41
"I'm gonna keep rolling.
I got one more roll in me.
:21:43
"I want the perfect woman, now.
I want somebody with a mind,
:21:46
"intelligence, a nice ass and a body.
Give it to me, now!
:21:48
"Oh, skinny cockeyed bitch.
No, give my dick back.
:21:51
"Give my dick back.
Now, listen, be quiet.
:21:53
"I'm gonna keep rolling.
This is my last roll.
:21:55
"This is the last one.
This is the one for me.
:21:57
"Miss Right. Blow on this for luck.
:21:59
"This is my last roll.
Come on. Here we go.
:22:01
"Give it to me, now!
Oh, shit. Herpes. I crapped out.
:22:03
"My dick is fucked up.
My dick is ruined."
:22:07
So be careful. Get married.
:22:10
I went out and found
the perfect woman.
:22:11
Nineteen years old. Beautiful face.
A virgin. Nobody ever fucked her.
:22:16
And had an ass like this:
:22:20
And her legs are like:
Her titties are like:
:22:23
She was so fine. She's one
of the people that's so fine,
:22:25
when you see them,
they make you ugly.
:22:27
You be like, "Goddamn,
who is that motherfucker?"
:22:30
She was fine.
I went, I cut all my girls off.
:22:32
I said, "That's it, I'm getting married.
This is it. Gonna be me and her."
:22:35
I was so happy. And I went out
and I went shopping.
:22:38
And I was waiting on the line
and I saw the Enquirer magazine
:22:41
while I was waiting on the line
:22:42
and I saw Johnny Carson
on the front page.
:22:44
There was a picture of him like this:
:22:48
Then I said, "What's up with Johnny?"
I turned to the inside story
:22:51
and his wife was on the other page
and she was like this: