:03:00
It's daylight
you got to watch out for.
:03:03
A thing of beauty
is a joy till sunrise.
:03:08
There's another group
:03:09
you got to watch
your food stamps around.
:03:13
THE HOPELESS.
:03:14
They break down
into three major categories--
:03:17
MARRIED,
:03:19
JUST IN FOR THE WEEKEND,
:03:23
TERMINALLY STRAIGHT.
:03:26
Those affairs are the worst!
:03:28
You go into them
with your eyes open,
:03:31
knowing all the limitations,
accepting them maturely.
:03:34
THEN WHAM, BAM!
:03:36
You're writing letters
to DEAR ABBY
:03:38
And burning black candles
at midnight.
:03:41
And you ask yourself,
"what happened?"
:03:43
I'll tell you.
You got what you wanted.
:03:46
The person who thinks
they're mature enough
:03:49
to handle an affair that's
hopeless from the beginning
:03:53
Is the same person that keeps
gothic romance publishers
:03:56
up to their tragic endings
in mink.
:03:59
What do you think?
Gorgeous, HUH?
:04:02
GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's still under construction.
:04:06
For those of youse
what ain't yet guessed,
:04:11
I am an entertainer,
:04:13
or what's left of one.
:04:15
I go by the name
Virginia Hamm.
:04:18
Ain't that a kick
in the rubber parts?
:04:21
You should hear some
of my former handles.
:04:24
Anita Mann.
:04:27
Fonda Boys.
:04:30
Claire Voyant.
:04:32
Fay Ways.
:04:35
Bang Bang La Desh.
:04:39
Yeah. I'm Among The Last
Of A Dying Breed.
:04:42
Well, once the E.R.A.
And gay civil rights bills
:04:46
have been passed,
:04:47
me and mine will be swept
under the carpets
:04:51
like the blacks done
to Amos, Andy, and Aunt Jemima.
:04:55
That's all right.
:04:56
With a voice
and a face like this,
:04:59
I'm not worried.