:22:00
I obviously had the wrong yacht club,
because Roger was nowhere to be found.
:22:04
I didn't have more time to waste here,
because back at Flint's county fair...
:22:09
thousands of people were being
entertained by the diving donkeys...
:22:13
anxiously awaiting the return
of our boyhood hero...
:22:15
as he made his triumphant return
home to Flint.
:22:19
From Genesee County Fair,
the newlywed capital of the world...
:22:22
here come the newlyweds!
:22:25
A big hand. This is your part...
:22:29
There they come.
:22:32
Yes, it's The Newlywed Game...
:22:33
and these are
our newlywed couples for today.
:22:36
Let's all meet the host and star
of The Newlywed Game:
:22:39
Bob Eubanks!
:22:47
Hello, everybody. Welcome.
How nice of you to come here today.
:22:51
Welcome to the opening of...
Hi, Mom. How are you doing?
:22:54
You devil, you!
:22:55
What about questions like,
''How heavy are your wife's breasts? ''
:22:58
I never ask that. I say,
''What does your wife's chest weigh? ''
:23:01
There's a lot of difference
in that question you just asked...
:23:04
A hell of a lot of difference.
That's where I think we get a bad rap.
:23:08
People like yourself
will quote a question like that.
:23:11
I wouldn't ask that question for anything.
I wouldn't even say ''breasts.''
:23:15
First question. These are easy questions.
:23:17
Ladies, how much did your husband say
your chest weighs?
:23:21
- Gladys, what do you say, sweetheart?
- Two pounds.
:23:23
Two pounds!
He said six-and-a-half ounces.
:23:29
I said, ''Both of them.''
He said, ''That is both of them.''
:23:32
I said, ''I'm sorry.''
He said, ''Not as sorry as I am.''
:23:36
Bob was right. He didn't say "breasts"
and I considered apologizing...
:23:40
for implying that his show
wasn't wholesome family entertainment.
:23:44
You know why
Jewish women don't get AIDS?
:23:46
Because they marry assholes,
they don't screw them. Pardon me.
:23:50
Ladies and gentlemen,
that's all for this afternoon.
:23:52
If I made you smile one time, I'm happy.
I had a good time. I hope you did, too.
:23:56
Until next time.
We'll be back every night...
:23:58
I'm Bob Eubanks. So long, everybody.
See you then.