:06:02
Then he probably lives
right around here.
:06:06
Fuckin' yuppies.
:06:07
My dad sold out...
:06:10
and my mom sold out years ago
when she had me.
:06:12
And then they sold me out...
:06:14
when they brought me
to this hole in the world.
:06:16
Hey, they made me
everything I am today...
:06:18
so, naturally,
I hate the bastards.
:06:21
Speaking of which...
:06:23
I'm running a contest...
:06:25
on the best way to put them
out of their miseries.
:06:28
Tonight,
we have number twelve...
:06:29
of one hundred things
to do with your body...
:06:31
when you're all alone.
:06:34
Now, are you ready
for the incredible sound...
:06:38
of Hard Harry
coming on his own face?
:06:41
Oh, my God.
:06:43
It's very possible, you know?
:06:48
Are you listening to this?
:06:49
Yeah, of course I'm listening.
:06:51
Guy's gotta have hair
coming out of his palms.
:06:53
This is a champion one.
:06:56
Oh. There. Yeah.
:06:58
Are you listening?
:06:59
-Yeah, I'm going blind.
-He's doing it.
:07:01
So unreal.
:07:03
Oh, my God.
:07:05
This...
:07:14
Yes, Hard Harry
will go to any length to keep...
:07:16
his three listeners glued
with ooey blooey to the radios.
:07:19
But the question is,
how far will you go?
:07:23
I mean, how far can you go...
:07:25
to amaze and disgust
the insatiable Hard Harry, huh?
:07:29
I mean, how serious are you?
:07:32
Hi, beautiful.
:07:35
You know
what I can't figure out?
:07:37
How you manage
to get such great grades...
:07:38
and you listen to that radio
all night, you know?
:07:41
Tomorrow, don't forget--
Yale interview.
:07:44
And I don't want you
to look too sleepy, you know?
:07:48
Good night, sweetie.
:07:52
Got a lot of letters
here, guys.
:07:54
Here. "Dear Hard Harry...
:07:56
"my boyfriend
won't talk to me anymore.
:07:58
"How do I show him
that I really love him?"