:05:03
Father Mundy invented our squad
'no obscenity"rule.
:05:07
We wanna make it clear
we're not actually part of this army.
:05:11
Yes, we have a squad father too.
:05:15
Mother Wilkins, Father Mundy.
:05:18
Father Mundy was gonna be a priest,
but never made it through the seminary.
:05:26
The next guard was taken by Bud Miller,
our mad mechanical genius...
:05:30
and resident wit...
:05:32
and Stan Shutzer,
our avengingJewish angel.
:05:38
They're supposed to be 12 in
Intelligence and Reconnaissance squads.
:05:42
Ours is down to six.
:05:45
Mel Avakian,
our best remaining soldier...
:05:48
became corporal to our squad
at the same time I made sergeant.
:05:52
It wasn't
for anything we did.
:05:55
Except stay alive.
:05:57
He hasn't sewn on
his stripes either.
:06:00
Our regimental commander
is Major Griffiin.
:06:04
Griffiin was a mortician
in civilian life.
:06:07
His main passion now
seems to be generating business...
:06:10
for his army counterparts.
:06:12
It's thanks to Griffiin
and his military mortuary skills...
:06:15
that I've made my recent
headlong leap to three stripes.
:06:18
We lost half our squad, attempting one
of his map-inspired, ill-conceived...
:06:22
recon patrols.
:06:24
When I say 'lost,"
I mean 'killed."
:06:27
Nobody in the army ever admits
that someone on our side is killed.
:06:30
They're either lost,
like Christopher Robin...
:06:36
hit, as in a batter
hit by a pitched ball...
:06:40
or they get 'it"
like in hide-and-go-seek.
:06:45
Or maybe they get it
as with an ambiguous joke.
:06:50
Not one of the six killed
had an army intelligence score...
:06:54
of less than 150.
:06:55
We gained a few miles
of European real estate...
:06:57
and lost the beginnings to untold
generations of very bright people.