:09:01
Really? My parents
said we're moving
:09:03
because of
all the Shvartzes.
:09:05
Shvartzes are niggers,
idiot.
:09:06
They're the same thing.
:09:08
[Tires Screech]
:09:10
I don't want to hear any more
of this, you hear me?
:09:12
I'm half negro,
and Howard's half negro.
:09:15
And anything bad
you say about negroes,
:09:17
you're saying about us,
you understand?
:09:18
# And nothing's bad
as it may seem... #
:09:24
Mom, we're half negro?
:09:31
I can't believe
the stories he makes up.
:09:33
I mean, I never made him
wear my underwear to school.
:09:37
And... And as far as my taking
his rectal temperature
:09:39
every day till he was 14...
:09:41
He shouldn't make
such a big deal.
:09:44
He still grew up to be
a very well-adjusted individual.
:09:46
Absolutely.
:09:47
# Papa was
a rolling stone... #
:09:50
Roosevelt High School...
beautiful.
:09:53
A fully integrated
educational institution,
:09:55
which of course meant
6,000 black guys and me.
:09:58
And then I hit puberty.
:10:00
That made things worse
:10:01
because my penis
never got any bigger.
:10:03
I mean, I was hung
like a 3- year-old.
:10:05
Hey, seriously, these guys had
rhinoceros penises... huge.
:10:09
You know, I've heard
black men complain
:10:12
that they're
unfairly stereotyped.
:10:13
Man, I'd love to have
a stereotype like that.
:10:17
Now, because I had
such a minuscule schlonger,
:10:20
I turned to drugs.
:10:21
Unfortunately, the drugs
really made me paranoid.
:10:29
Howard's Mother: Howard, I smell smoke.
Are you smoking in there?
:10:33
There's no smoke
in here.
:10:35
Howard, your father wants to
see you downstairs.
:10:42
[Gargles]
:10:43
Howard.
:10:46
[Swallows]
:10:48
Howard, you're graduating
from high school this year.
:10:50
You should be making some kind
of plan for your future.
:10:52
You need a plan.
:10:53
I want to be on the radio.
:10:56
He wants to be on radio.
:10:58
But to be on the radio,
you have to have a voice.