:10:00
That made things worse
:10:01
because my penis
never got any bigger.
:10:03
I mean, I was hung
like a 3- year-old.
:10:05
Hey, seriously, these guys had
rhinoceros penises... huge.
:10:09
You know, I've heard
black men complain
:10:12
that they're
unfairly stereotyped.
:10:13
Man, I'd love to have
a stereotype like that.
:10:17
Now, because I had
such a minuscule schlonger,
:10:20
I turned to drugs.
:10:21
Unfortunately, the drugs
really made me paranoid.
:10:29
Howard's Mother: Howard, I smell smoke.
Are you smoking in there?
:10:33
There's no smoke
in here.
:10:35
Howard, your father wants to
see you downstairs.
:10:42
[Gargles]
:10:43
Howard.
:10:46
[Swallows]
:10:48
Howard, you're graduating
from high school this year.
:10:50
You should be making some kind
of plan for your future.
:10:52
You need a plan.
:10:53
I want to be on the radio.
:10:56
He wants to be on radio.
:10:58
But to be on the radio,
you have to have a voice.
:11:00
You have to have
some verbal ability.
:11:02
You hardly ever say a word.
:11:04
This all from a guy who's only told me
to shut up about 50,000 times.
:11:08
I talk.
:11:11
You really want to be
on the radio?
:11:15
OK. If you want
a shot at radio,
:11:19
the counseling center says
there's a communications program
:11:22
at Boston University.
:11:33
OK, I know
what you're saying.
:11:36
You're saying I look
a little old to be in college.
:11:39
Well, for this movie,
you gotta suspend disbelief.
:11:42
Hey, Lisa.
:11:44
Lisa.
Hi, how you doing?
:11:46
Hi.
:11:47
I was wondering if you'd
like to go out Friday night.
:11:50
With you?
:11:51
No, thanks.
:11:55
Hi. I was just
wondering if you...
:11:58
Uh, no.