1:44:00
is the fate of all
true geniuses, is it not?
1:44:03
But my life
isn't bad at all.
1:44:04
I'm still on the air,
1:44:06
I've got my kids,
1:44:08
and I've got Alison.
1:44:10
Alison... She's the best friend
I could ever have.
1:44:12
And who knows?
1:44:14
With a little time,
1:44:15
the right energy...
1:44:17
I think I could talk her
into some hot lesbo action.
1:44:21
Porno For Pyros:
# Got my hands into something #
1:44:23
# I could not touch... #
1:44:25
Stuttering John:
Wait! Wait! Is that it?
1:44:27
What, the movie's over?
1:44:28
Oh, yeah?
That's bullshit!
1:44:29
Hi. You know who I am?
Yeah, I'm Stuttering John.
1:44:32
And you know why I'm pissed?
I'll tell you why.
1:44:33
I've been getting up at 5:00
every morning to work for Howard.
1:44:36
I've been pissing off
every publicist,
1:44:38
burning every freakin'
bridge in the industry,
1:44:39
And y-y-you'd figure Howard would pay
me back by putting me in his movie!
1:44:43
No, he doesn't!
I'm not in the movie!
1:44:44
I've been in here for 8 years,
cuttin' his friggin' potato!
1:44:47
I've been smacked around
by Morton Downey,
1:44:49
punched in the nose by Raquel Welch,
and what do I get?
1:44:51
I get fucking nothing!
That's what I get!
1:44:52
I'm not even in
this fucking movie!
1:44:53
He's says I'll
be in the sequel!
1:44:54
Yeah? What sequel?
Suppose the movie sucks?
1:44:56
Th-th-th-there won't
even be any sequel!
1:44:58
# If you lie for your breakfast,
then you won't get lunch #
1:45:02
# I'm a hard charger #
1:45:06
# I don't believe in dying #
1:45:08
# No such luck #
1:45:10
# Hard charger #
1:45:13
# Can't stay pretty
'cause it's just no fun #
1:45:17
# Hard charger... #
1:45:22
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen,
Mia Farrow.
1:45:24
[Applause]
1:45:26
Thank you.
1:45:28
Thank you.
1:45:29
The nominees
for best actor are...
1:45:33
Harrison Ford...
1:45:35
[Applause]
1:45:37
Denzel Washington...
1:45:38
[Applause]
1:45:39
Robert DeNiro...
1:45:42
[Applause]
1:45:45
Tom Hanks...
1:45:46
[Applause]
1:45:48
Howard Stern.
1:45:51
[Silence]
1:45:52
And the winner is...
1:45:56
Howard Stern.
1:45:57
[Murmuring]
1:45:59
[Trumpet Fanfare]