1:00:06
My head is very clear.
1:00:09
lt's all l can be...
1:00:12
in my head.
1:00:15
l feel my body
doesn't belong to me.
1:00:18
lt's an anonymous appendix.
1:00:21
ln my head, there's Paul.
1:00:25
He could have reconciled me
with my body.
1:00:29
But he didn't want to do that.
1:00:33
Because l don't like my body,
l was an easy prey.
1:00:40
l mean, a victim.
1:00:43
Anyway, women are the victims
men need for atonement.
1:01:00
l always masturbate
with my legs closed,
1:01:03
l rarely part them.
1:01:06
l can offer myself to myself,
rape myself.
1:01:13
lt's mildly satisfying,
a bit nauseating,
1:01:16
but it's proof l don't need a man
if l have to resort to this.
1:01:29
lt was painful for me
to be on his bed.
1:01:33
A pain you could call
feeling like lost luggage.
1:01:39
The more time went by,
the less l could bear it.
1:01:43
l had to cast myself out
like a wreck.
1:01:49
ln the basic meaning of the word,
up for grabs.