:07:01
to him years ago.
:07:02
Why the fuck would you
do a thing like that?
:07:05
Why in God's name
would l wanna keep writing...
:07:07
about characters whose
central preoccupation...
:07:10
is weed
and dick and fart jokes?
:07:12
l mean, you got to grow, man.
:07:14
Don't you ever want
anything more for yourself?
:07:18
l know this poor hapless
son of a bitch does.
:07:20
l look into his
sorry doe eyes...
:07:22
and ljust--
l see a man crying out.
:07:24
He's crying out, "When, Lord?
:07:25
"When the fuck
can your servant...
:07:28
"ditch this foul-mouthed
little chucklehead...
:07:31
"to whom l am a constant
victim of his folly...
:07:34
"so much so that
it prevents him...
:07:35
"from ever getting
to kiss a girl?
:07:36
"Fuck! When, Lord, when?
:07:38
"When's gonna be my time?"
:07:43
He knows.
:07:44
l'm the chucklehead?
You're the fucking dumb-ass...
:07:47
who gave your comic away,
and now you don't get...
:07:49
no fucking movie check,
neither.
:07:51
When you're right,
you're right.
:07:52
l wish l held onto
a little piece of that thing...
:07:54
because if the buzz
is any indicator...
:07:55
that movie's going
to make some huge bank.
:07:58
What buzz?
:07:59
The lnternet buzz.
:08:01
What the fuck is the lnternet?
:08:03
The lnternet
is a communications tool...
:08:05
used the world over, where
people can come together...
:08:07
to bitch about movies and share
pornography with one another.
:08:09
Here's what we're looking for--
Moviepoopshoot.com. [Farts]
:08:12
Poop shoot. Yeah.
:08:14
This is a site populated
by militant movie buffs--
:08:17
sad, pathetic little bastards...
:08:19
living in their
parents' basement...
:08:21
downloading scripts...
:08:22
and what they think
is inside information...
:08:24
about movies and actors
they claim to despise...
:08:27
yet can't stop discussing.
:08:28
OK, this is about "Bluntman
and Chronic" right here.
:08:31
"lnside sources tell me...
:08:32
"Miramax is starting
production this Friday...
:08:34
"on their adaptation
of underground comic fave...
:08:35
"'Bluntman and Chronic."'
:08:37
Friday? Shit, does it say
who's fucking playing us...
:08:39
in the movie?
:08:40
No, but it's Miramax...
:08:41
so l'm sure it'll be
Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.
:08:43
You know, they put them
in a bunch of movies.
:08:45
Who?
:08:46
You know, those kids
from "Good Will Hunting."
:08:48
You mean that fucking movie
with Mork from Ork in it?
:08:51
Yeah, l wasn't
a big fan, either...
:08:52
but Affleck was the bomb
in "Phantoms."
:08:55
Word, bitch. "Phantoms"'
like a motherfucker.
:08:57
What's up now?
:08:59
[Cracks neck]
Ahem. All right.