Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
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:04:00
You want to lick it?
:04:02
[ Scoffs ]
No. Why should I?

:04:05
Well, for one thing,
it tastes like strawberry.

:04:08
My sister tells me
you love strawberries.

:04:10
Yeah, well,
I hate strawberries.

:04:13
CHUCK: No, I'm serious.
:04:14
It tastes exactly like
a strawberry lollipop.

:04:16
TUVIA: Look,
I know that's not true.

:04:18
- Well, I bet you it does.
- I bet you it doesn't.

:04:21
CHUCK: I'll bet you a dollar.
:04:25
BARRIS: Tuvia... my first love.
:04:28
[ Typing ]
:04:30
Perhaps my whole life
turned at that point.

:04:33
The repulsiveness
of my sex confirmed...

:04:35
by the taste buds
of a ripening pubescent girl.

:04:39
What are you doing?
:04:41
Get off me!
:04:42
And so I found myself...
:04:44
in a downward spiral
of debauchery...

:04:47
endlessly chasing pussy.
:04:49
[ Doo wop music playing ]
:04:50
[ Loud kissing ]
:04:53
My only focus in life
to get laid, to get blown...

:04:56
trying to fool myself
into believing...

:04:58
that given
the right combination...

:04:59
of circumstances
and deception...

:05:01
maybe the Tuvias
of the world...

:05:03
could desire me
the way I desired them.

:05:05
[ Thwack ]
:05:07
I only wanted to be loved.
:05:11
[ Moans softly ]
:05:16
CHUCK: No...
:05:17
[ Sobbing ]
:05:18
Won't you tell me why
:05:21
I love
:05:23
[ Zips pants ]
:05:24
That girly so
:05:26
[ Kissing ]
:05:28
She doesn't want me
:05:32
BARRIS: The constant
inarticulate rage...

:05:34
led to bar fight
after bar fight.

:05:41
[ Faint laughter ]
:05:46
TV ANNOUNCER: New York
is a city of people...

:05:48
the only state
in the union to stretch...

:05:50
from the Atlantic Ocean
to the Great Lakes.

:05:52
Directly across the avenue is--
you're right again.

:05:55
BARRIS: I had heard
that television...

:05:56
was an industry
with a future...

:05:58
so I packed up and moved
from Philly to Manhattan.


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