:40:00
Last night, l was home by myself
:40:02
and l conjured up a threesome with me,
Marilyn Monroe and Sophia Loren.
:40:09
lt was very erotic.
:40:12
ln fact, if l'm not mistaken,
it was the first time
:40:15
those two great actresses
ever appeared in anything together.
:40:17
- lt sounds nice, but...
- The only reason l ask
:40:22
is because l think
that as you go through life,
:40:25
you learn to depend only on yourself.
:40:28
You know?
Do you own a firearm?
:40:32
A gun?
:40:34
A gun qualifies as a firearm, yes.
:40:36
- No. Why would l?
- For self-defense.
:40:39
Against who?
:40:42
Against those who conspire to harm you.
:40:44
Harm me?
:40:45
Don't ask what you did to deserve it.
l mean, God, read Auden.
:40:51
You know, come with me to New Jersey.
:41:00
Falk, l took the liberty a few weeks ago
of ordering you a little present.
:41:05
What?
:41:06
They're having a sale here
on surplus Russian army rifles.
:41:11
What?
:41:13
Suppose you're home one night
in bed, masturbating,
:41:17
and some guys break in.
You need protection.
:41:21
l'd dial 91 1 .
l don't need a rifle.
:41:23
Have you ever dialed 91 1?
lt's like trying to get a mortgage.
:41:26
Come on.
:41:30
l don't need a rifle. l'll probably
wind up blowing my foot off.
:41:34
What is wrong with you?
Are you such a maladroit
:41:37
you can't keep a firearm without
discharging it adventitiously?
:41:42
- l don't need a weapon.
- Everybody needs a weapon.
:41:44
What does that mean?
:41:46
lt means the day will come
when you wish you had one.
:41:49
Why exactly?
:41:50
Why?
So they don't put you in a boxcar.
:41:53
l want to get you some of this stuff, too.
:41:56
- What for?
- So you can build a survival kit.
:41:59
l have a perfect survival kit.
l've been working on it for years.