Bad Santa
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:35:00
You shat me out of your womb?
You're my fucking mom now?

:35:03
I don't need
any goddamn lectures.

:35:05
I know how to keep
a low profile. Thank you.

:35:08
What the fuck is this,
Mr. Low Profile?

:35:11
Mind your own goddamn business.
:35:21
Ever hear of
the open bottle law?

:35:25
A couple of days ago, I was in,
uh, Women's Big & Tall.

:35:30
And I heard these...
:35:32
Um, you know, these noises.
:35:37
And I heard a woman screaming,
"Yeah. Oh, yeah."

:35:41
And I heard his voice saying,
"That's right.

:35:45
You ain't going to S-H-I-T
right for a month."

:35:52
But don't get me wrong.
:35:53
I was against
the Clinton impeachment.

:35:57
What a man does
with his own penis --

:35:59
Oval Office,
Women's Big & Tall --

:36:01
it's not for
the American people to say.

:36:04
Yeah, right.
:36:04
But when you're dealing
with children...

:36:11
They have a tender sensibility.
:36:14
And you are in a position
of trust.

:36:16
I think perhaps someone who has
screaming orgasms

:36:21
with large women shouldn't...
:36:24
Yeah.
:36:27
Of course,
I can't fire him for that.

:36:29
Oh, yeah.
Unfair practices.

:36:31
Special pleading.
Bitch, bitch, bitch.

:36:33
Fucking broads.
:36:35
But I just can't help it.
:36:36
There's something about the guy
that makes me uneasy.

:36:40
Well, sure.
:36:41
Santa fucking someone
in the ass.

:36:46
-So...
:36:48
Maybe there's something
I could fire him for.

:36:52
Yeah, I get you.
:36:53
Do you?
:36:54
Do you think
you could find something?

:36:56
Shit, yeah.
There's always something.


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