:29:00
That's what keeps me going.
:29:02
Hey-- Oh, God!
:29:04
Hey, Ron!
:29:06
Hey, Ron, I bet you look like
the monster from the Black Lagoon!
:29:09
Shut up! I'm doing pretty good in here.
:29:13
So I say we get naked and throw ice
at each other. What do you think?
:29:17
-Hey, Larry?
-Over here!
:29:20
Just remember, when you gotta go
to the bathroom, get out of the tub!
:29:25
Too late!
:29:29
-I'm starting to feel a lot better.
-Oh, my God.
:29:34
I feel like a new man.
:29:38
Ladies and gentleman, please welcome
a native of Winslow, Arizona...
:29:42
...a very funny man, Mr. Bill Engvall!
:29:46
What' s up?
:29:53
It is great to be here tonight.
:29:59
In fact, it' s just great to be
out of the house.
:30:03
I'll tell you why. My wife and I had an
argument last week that was so stupid...
:30:08
...that it bears repeating.
:30:12
My wife collects twist-ties.
:30:18
Welcome to my world.
:30:21
What happened was,
I went to make a sandwich.
:30:23
I took the bread, took the twist-tie off,
threw it down, made my sandwich.
:30:27
Did I put the twist-tie back on the bread?
:30:30
No. I did what every man
in America does.
:30:32
I spun the loaf of bread
and tucked it underneath.
:30:39
But apparently,
that's where I went wrong.
:30:44
I got a great family.
:30:45
I got a 1 6-year-old daughter
who just got her driver's license.
:30:48
So drop to your knees and thank
the good Lord above that you live here...
:30:52
...and not where we live.
:30:55
She is without a doubt
the worst driver on the planet.
:30:59
She's got no depth perception at all.