Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie
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1:21:01
Six bouncers hurled me out of a nightclub
like I was a Frisbee.

1:21:06
Those big old New York bouncers
that think bouncing is a cool job to have...

1:21:11
...they just think about bouncing.
1:21:13
They hang out with other bouncers
talking about bouncing.

1:21:17
They go home every night, watch
Road House and fondle themselves.

1:21:23
I walk into a bar with a hat on.
1:21:25
This guy, real pissy, goes,
"Take off the hat!"

1:21:31
I'm like, "What's the deal? "
He goes, "I'll tell you what the deal is.

1:21:34
Gay people in this area wear hats.
We're trying to keep them out of our club."

1:21:39
I was like, "Really?
The only way we can tell in Texas...

1:21:42
...is if they have their hair cut
like yours."

1:21:52
And he got all pissed.
1:21:54
But he walked away,
I took the hat off.

1:21:56
An hour later, I'd been drinking
and I forgot.

1:21:59
You ever forget? It happened to me.
1:22:02
I put the hat back on.
The guy comes over to me.

1:22:05
I'm between 6' 1 " and 6'6", depending
on which convenience store I'm leaving.

1:22:17
I weigh 230 pounds.
1:22:18
The guy comes over, poking me in the
shoulder with two fingers and says, "Out!"

1:22:23
I'm like, "l don't think so, Scooter."
1:22:27
And I was wrong.
1:22:31
They hurled me out of that bar.
1:22:33
They squared off with me in the parking lot
and I backed down from the fight...

1:22:38
...because I don't know how many of them
it would have taken to whip my ass...

1:22:43
...but I knew how many
they were gonna use.

1:22:59
That's a handy little piece
of information to have.


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