Camp
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:16:01
Straight boys are straight.
:16:03
You can't turn 'em
just because you need to be loved.

:16:06
The foundation
that's being laid here

:16:08
is not going to help you
in the real world.

:16:12
lt's going to lead to
waitressing jobs and bitterness

:16:16
and the obsessive,
pointless collecting

:16:21
of out-of-print
original cast albums.

:16:36
l don't know what your problem is,
and l don't really care.

:16:38
Maybe you're a son of a bitch
just 'cause you haven't written a show

:16:41
in, like, a million years.
:16:43
Or maybe you're
just a stupid drunk,

:16:45
but those kids,
they look up to you.

:16:47
And they don't deserve
to be treated like that.

:16:50
''They''? Did you think
l wasn't talking to you, too?

:16:53
Or did l forget to mention that
:16:54
you're a fraud who has to be
everybody's golden boy,

:16:58
or you'll just shrivel up?
:16:59
l've taken shots at drunks before.
:17:01
Don't think l have some
honor code about it.

:17:03
Bring it on.
:17:06
What is your problem?
:17:08
l don't have a problem.
:17:11
There's a theater in Brooklyn
that's got a problem.

:17:13
Seems they need
a rehearsal pianist,

:17:16
and they thought l might just be
hard up enough to oblige.

:17:20
So l sit in hot, stinking traffic
for three hours

:17:24
just to drive down there
to find out it's not

:17:26
the 200th revival
of my one hit show they wanted.

:17:30
You should never meet your heroes.
They always disappoint you.

:17:34
Come on, kid.
Come here. Help me out.

:17:38
l think l'm going to be sick.
:17:44
Oh, Jesus!
:17:46
God!

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