1:18:03
If a woman introduces her new man
to her girlfriend,
1:18:08
when they walk away, her girlfriend goes,
1:18:11
"I gotta get him.
1:18:15
"And I will slit that bitch's throat to do it."
1:18:21
Shit, every woman in here got a girlfriend
they don't trust around they man.
1:18:25
A good girlfriend too. "I'll go shopping with her
1:18:28
"but I ain't gonna leave that bitch
with my man for five minutes."
1:18:32
I remember one time,
one time I was in a restaurant,
1:18:36
me, my wife, her girlfriend.
1:18:39
My wife said, "I'm going to the bathroom."
I say, "OK, I'll see you when you get back."
1:18:44
She said, "No, you coming with me."
1:18:49
And she made me come with her.
1:18:51
And she did the right thing
cos I'd have fucked the girl.
1:19:01
I'd have fucked her on the quesadilla,
I don't give a fuck.
1:19:11
Nah, man. But one thing I learned, man,
1:19:14
once you get married, fellas, women wanna be
responsible for all your happiness.
1:19:18
All your happiness. You got that?
1:19:21
Not some of it. All of it.
1:19:23
Fellas, you ever have your woman
catch you jerking off?
1:19:27
Ever have your woman
catch you jerking off?
1:19:30
Did she get mad at you, even though
she wasn't thinking about fucking you?
1:19:36
Here's the real deal,
she ain't mad you was jerking off.
1:19:39
She's mad you was making yourself happy.
1:19:45
"How dare you make yourself fucking happy?
1:19:48
"I'm in charge of happiness in this house.
You'll be miserable till I fucking say so.
1:19:54
"Take your hands out yo pockets!"