1:21:06
Man. That's right.
1:21:08
Married and bored, single and lonely.
1:21:12
That's right, guys. Here's the thing - when
you're married, you wanna kill your spouse.
1:21:17
When you're single, you wanna kill yourself.
1:21:21
Better her than me.
1:21:25
Anybody in this room that's ever been in love
will testify to this shit.
1:21:30
If you haven't contemplated murder,
you ain't been in love.
1:21:36
If you haven't seriously thought about
killing the motherfucker,
1:21:39
you ain't been in love.
1:21:41
If you haven't had a can of rat poison
in your hand
1:21:44
and looked at it for 45 minutes straight,
you ain't been in love.
1:21:49
If you haven't bought a shovel and a bag
1:21:52
and a rug to roll they ass up in,
you ain't been in love.
1:21:56
If you haven't practised your alibi
in front of the mirror...
1:22:01
you ain't been in love.
1:22:03
The only thing that stopped you
from killing this motherfucker
1:22:07
was an episode of CSI.
1:22:17
Man, they thorough.
1:22:19
I'd better make up, they might catch my ass.
1:22:22
That's right, man. See, relationships are hard.
1:22:26
But in order for any relationship to work,
both people have to be on the same page.
1:22:31
Both people have to have the same focus.
1:22:33
And we all know what that page is,
what that focus is.
1:22:36
In order for the relationship to work,
both people have to have the same focus,
1:22:41
and the focus is all about her.
1:22:45
It's all about her.
1:22:48
She's already there, fellas,
she's waiting for you to come aboard.
1:22:52
Fellas, when you wake up in the morning,
1:22:55
you should look yourself in the mirror and say,
"Fuck you.