:44:00
"What's wrong?"
And the more you do that, Calvin,
:44:02
the more it becomes
this self-fulfilling prophecy.
:44:05
You just need to relax
and not worry so much. Okay?
:44:12
Yeah. That makes
a lot of sense.
:44:15
- I'm gonna work on it.
- Yeah. Yeah, you do that.
:44:18
And by the way, take whatever advice
that she gives you with a big grain of salt.
:44:22
Yeah, and take anything that he gives you
with a shot of penicillin.
:44:25
Seriously, Calvin,
do yourself a favor.
:44:29
Unless you're combing the playground
for middle schoolers,
:44:31
don't become an asshole
like Monty.
:44:35
Correct me if I'm wrong,
but haven't I been inside you?
:44:47
- Oh, Monty.
- Oh, me.
:44:49
You wanna brag about your sexual conquests,
you big stud, you?
:44:53
Okay, you know what? Fine.
Let's talk about it.
:44:55
Let me describe Monty's
amazing sexual prowess.
:44:59
He'd barrel into me with that pathetic excuse
for a child's penis.
:45:03
And it would end so quickly,
so abruptly,
:45:08
I wouldn't even have time
to feel any sort of
:45:10
morbid, accidental amusement
towards his "technique,"
:45:14
which was basically him
seizuring on top of me
:45:16
for, oh, about 45 seconds,
:45:19
while I laid there trying
not to laugh... or cry.
:45:22
Ouch.
:45:24
Is it any wonder why you still date girls
in high school?
:45:27
They're the only ones left.
They don't know any better.
:45:29
Okay, okay. All right.
:45:32
First of all, for the record,
:45:34
I always had an orgasm
when we had sex.
:45:37
Secondly, everybody knows
that I'm orally fixated.
:45:40
You can't deny that I played your vagina
like a violin.
:45:43
Oh! As if that somehow negates the fact
that once we got past foreplay,
:45:48
you turned into the little engine
that couldn't hold his load.
:45:50
Oh, what the fuck ever!
:45:53
If I was that bad, then why were
you at my house every night?
:45:56
All I had to do was call
and say, "Hey. I'm horny."
:45:59
And then fucking poof!